When an entrepreneur starts a new business, he or she doesn’t start out setting up the employees’ work schedule. In fact, it is probably safe to say that who is going to be on duty when is one of the last things to fall in to place.
Instead, the business plan is going to start out identifying the business’s mission (what product it will make or service it will provide) and the vision (what will things look like if the business is successful). Once the mission and vision re set, the business owner tries to identify what needs to be done to accomplish that mission and realize the vision. “Where will the operation be located? What are the resources available to accomplish the mission, and what is the best way to employ those resources? Do I know everything I need to be successful, or should I be working to educate myself about how to run the business, and make it successful? And once we’re in operation, what how do I measure our progress? And who are the people I need to work with to get the job done?”
Once these vital questions are answered, the new business owner can go to work on the small details, like putting together a work schedule.
Taking care of things in this order won’t guarantee a successful business, of course. But any business owner that ignores these big questions is likely to have big problems.
Divorcing parents are called upon to put together a parenting plan for their children, and they — and the forms they find on-line — often start by asking the parents start with the placement schedule. Just as this is the wrong place to start with a new business, it’s the wrong place to start with a parenting plan. It’s not enough to simply say “I want to have the children every other weekend” or “I want to be an equal parent”; parents should give serious thought about what they want from their children, and why that’s important to them.
Parents can eliminate a great deal of conflict — and do a great service to their children — by taking a business-like approach to their parenting plan. They can start by identifying exactly they hope to accomplish together as parents. A free on-line tool, uptoparents.org, can help them bring mission and vision into focus. It allows each parent to express their goals, and identify the commitments they will make for the benefit of their children. The website then combines the responses each parent provides, giving them a single document that give a clear picture of their shared vision for their children’s future. Rather than calling attention to areas of disagreement – something that is built in to the “schedule first” approach – uptoparents.org highlights the values and goals the parents share. (A sister website – proudtoparent.org – is available for parents who were never married.)
The next step is for the parents to give serious thought about what resources are available to get where they want to go. Time is important; so, too, is money. However, the greatest resources available to the children are the parents themselves.
No two families are identical, and no two parents are identical, and it is important that the parents recognize this when they discuss the future they want for their children. Building a parenting plan that makes the most of their strengths and recognizes their weaknesses (and face it, all parents have them) is vital. When parents approach discussions from this direction, they may come to the realization that “equal parenting” isn’t measured in minutes and hours, but rather by sharing important responsibilities in a way that provides the maximum benefit for the children.
Good parenting is much more complicated than any business, of course. But approaching parenting discussions in a businesslike manner can help get over some early difficulties in communications. This can help parents focus on their main goal: seeing their children have happy, healthy and secure childhoods, and helping them grow in to mature, responsible and caring adults.
Dan Bestul is a Wisconsin divorce and family law attorney practicing primarily in Green and Lafayette Counties. He can be reached by e-mail at bestul@swwilaw.com.